Yes, my faithful friends and blog followers, I know I have been remiss in my posting obligations. I haven't forgotten I had one - I've just been busy living life and failing to document the experiences along the way. Speaking of memories, I know I have my fair share of the good, the bad and the ugly. And I'm certainly making new ones in 2011...mostly good memories as God would have it. (Insert a WOOHOO here!)
Now then, from the blog's title we have the topic for tonight's commentary. From several weeks of sermons (thanks Pastor Paul for inspiration), devotions, and self-contemplations, we have what has been on my mind other than running, work and the Fire & EMS world. Before I forget, the song reference (you know I have to have a musical connection) is Chris Tomlin's "Your Grace is Enough" which I will post as a You Tube video link. Jam to it as you read. It's one of my fav worship songs of late.
Remember...we've been covering Genesis at NCF and Pastor Paul talked about Noah and the flood. Noah made all the preparations according to God's instructions and he and the family with tokens of all creation were safe aboard the ark when God rained down His judgment on the earth. We know how long it rained (kids' song--40 days) and it took 150 days for the waters to recede. At some point, I would have been going stir crazy, dying to walk on dry land, escape the funky smells of an ark full of animals, spend time alone away from my family that was surely getting on my last nerve after so much quality family time, etc. I am pretty sure there would be a time when I'd begin to wonder if God forgot that I was on this big ol' boat because of what HE told me to do. Seriously, anyone who knows me knows I need variety and struggle with patience. Not so with Noah. He waited for the sign from God that it was time to act. He responded to God's invitation when in Chapter 8, "God remembered Noah..."
Even then, it wasn't an overnight process to regain footing on dry land, evacuate the ark, etc. It was the better part of a YEAR. Noah bides his time and chooses wisely - as soon as he hit dry land at God's invitation to exit because it was finally time, he built an altar and worshipped God for His faithfulness - for remembering His covenant promise. WOW! We all know that God didn't FORGET Noah and that's why suddenly in Chapter 8 we're told He remembered. That word is there for us...for me! God remembers us...He created us. He knows every hair on our head - even the true hair color. He doesn't forget His people. His grace is enough (surely you're playing the song by now...)!
Even when we turn our backs on his instructions, God remembers His promise to His children. If we're walking through the wilderness of willful disobedience or blinded to the truth on the road to Emmaus, God remembers who we are and who He created us to be. We have to remember Him too, and not just when it's convenient timing. Life is full of memories - the highs and the lows. Those memories help shape who we are. We remember the sacrifice of Jesus Christ when we take communion. We need to remember the sacrifice of Christ in our daily lives too. The cross cannot be in vain just because we are too impatient, too proud, too stubborn, too busy, too whatever to remember who we are in Christ and how we should live because of it. We should live, laugh, and love. We should remember His promises.
Saturday, a group of us will remember the spiritual retreat we had at Chrysalis or Emmaus. We will fellowship and remember the mountain top experiences with praise. We will pray for the valley experiences as well, that God's grace will see us through. We will remember the life, death and resurrection of Christ until He comes again with a celebration of holy communion. God is saying to me: I WILL REMEMBER YOU - WILL YOU REMEMBER ME?
Trusting - believing - remembering - praying for the desires of my heart that I know he remembers full well...
Love and prayers,
Alissa
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Friday, December 10, 2010
Dream the Impossible Dream
WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Heavy emphasis on the WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The ad hoc Grade Appeal Committee rendered their decision and issued their report today. For several reasons, some I had not even mentioned directly in my appeal, the committee unanimously voted to change my grade for the course to the "B" I felt I deserved all along. They agreed the APA grading policy was punitive and even pointed out that the course syllabus itself had quite a few errors and pondered if those would also be considered "significant" and worth deducting if situations had been reversed. If not, they indicated there is some level of hypocrisy with that system of accountability. That's pretty much my favorite paragraph of the two page written opinion (other than the last sentence in the first paragraph that reinstates my original course grade before the final paper was taken into account).
Okay, enough celebrating...well, mostly. :)
It is too late to apply for admission to take spring courses, but rest assured I will be on track for the February 1st deadline so I can officially begin my master's degree next summer. YAY! I was nervous about the appeal and what my colleagues would think if I pursued each stage of the process, but they have been nothing but supportive. Furthermore, this decision was made with a blind situation wherein my name was withheld and I had not discussed my situation except with a few select friends among my colleagues, so they were really able to look at the paper and course grading situation very objectively. I do worry if there will be any challenges in the admissions process itself where Professor X is one of the two-member admissions committee or if future courses with him will be tainted by this experience. (Keep in mind I did really well in the other course with Professor X--an "A" and really did have a "B" in this course before the final proposal got such a low score for APA citations--only 10 points were deducted for the other issues.)
Yes, I'm a worrier. Why worry about tomorrow when today has enough troubles of its own, right?!? In fact, when the department chair brought me the envelope with the decision, I was in the middle of processing my student teachers for check-out after they had completed licensure paperwork. As I was putting it in my pocket, I said, "I'll wait to read this later since you know how badly I want to pursue my own higher education and create additional career opportunities which tends to make me overly emotional." She said, "Oh, I think you'll want to read this then" and had a large smile on her face. I definitely did my little "happy dance" at the table in the hallway and thanked her for her support through the appeals process.
For now, I embrace the impossible dream that has been proven possible with persistence, the power of positive friends/family encouraging me to explore and exhaust all options, and can't wait for the next steps. I've also been without sodas for so long now and still not had a migraine (shocking...even with the sodas, I still average 2-3 a month) that I am also greatly encouraged to dream that impossible dream too---kicking another addiction and furthering my quest for personal freedom in health, fitness, and life.
If I were still drinking, I'd drink a toast to me tonight - and one for my biggest fans too!
SLAINTE,
Alissa
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Hurry Up...and Wait!
People spend much of their time rushing through life or waiting for life to happen. The holiday hustle and bustle is more of the same with people hurrying around and then waiting in ridiculously long lines. For me right now, the hurry up and wait is a little different though. I realized I never updated my "followers" (aka super supportive family and friends who follow these random blog posts of mine) on the education situation and wanted to rectify that inadequate reporting. I also wanted to share another hurry up and wait situation that I am facing right now.
First, the education situation. I did appeal the grade to the department chair. She supported my appeal but Professor X was unwilling to acknowledge his grading of the APA mistake(s--since he claims them as multiple and I dispute them as one mistake multiple times) or compromise on the overall evaluation of the paper. Since the department chair does not have authority to change another professor's grades, that option was exhausted. The final step was to appeal to the Executive Committee of the Faculty Senate, who would form a committee to investigate and issue a final ruling/grade. I decided I owed it to myself for the hard work it took to earn the "B" and submit the paper that was not deserving a basically failing grade (D-) which reduced by "B" to a "C-" for the course. Therefore, I filed the appeal for the final step in the process. They are deliberating now and will issue their written decision by this Friday (last day of classes). I am cautiously optimistic, but will certainly comment on the final outcome since my future education and career are at stake.
Now, for the other matter that is definitely going to be "hurry up...and wait." I have been having problems with my right eyetooth (tooth 7 for you dental geeks) for at least a year. Problems would be defined as an ache that would come and go and a visible black fleck at the far left corner which I knew meant decay of some type. I ignored it because I have SEVERE dental anxiety and figured as long as it wasn't loose or crumbling apart, I had time to work up the courage and address the issue. (NOTE - that is NOT smart dental hygiene!) On Thanksgiving Saturday when my family was feasting, a sliver of the right side fell off while I was sampling some shrimp cocktail and the pain has been escalating ever since.
Last week, the pain was so bad I was forcing myself to take pills. Now you KNOW that means I was in pain because everybody knows I can't swallow pills and I really hate the inconvenience of crushing them up in applesauce to "enjoy" with the Ibuprofen or Aleve. Since they weren't really touching the pain, I took more than the recommended daily doses to the point I had left sided abdominal pain and thought, "Oh great, my liver and kidneys are shutting down from years of soda drinking and a few days of overdosing on OTC painkillers." (Did I mention I have not had a soda in over two weeks? It reminded me of a new car purchase...the minute/week it is paid off, the problems begin with maintenance and repair. LOL) It further scared me to realize urine output was no longer clear but rust-colored. (I apologize if that's TMI for you--I'm an EMT and lost some sensitivity to "gross" things of that sort.)
I called the dentist and scheduled an appointment for the earliest opportunity--which required several additional days of waiting. I was seen yesterday for my consultation and things are worse than I had feared. The root of my tooth is dead and there's not much of the tooth remaining post-Thanksgiving-break-off for them to attempt a root canal with crown procedure. My options were extraction of tooth #7 and a very self-conscious smile (gap) or extraction of the eyetooth and a very time consuming process ending eventually in an implant and a picture-perfect smile. *groan* I'm self conscious enough as it is...I don't need a permanent hole in my dental alignment to complicate things.
Soooooo, I chose option two. The road to an implant is definitely going to be ripe with "hurry up...and wait" moments since so much of the pacing is dependent on my own body's ability to heal and do what is required for a successful dental implant. The process began with an impression (can we say gag reflex?!) so I can be fitted for a partial periodontic aka "flipper." The next step is an intense antibiotic that the pharmacy only had available in liquid form and tastes like metallic trash. Let's just say I'd almost prefer a jar of applesauce laced with horse pills. The antibiotic is necessary because there is so much infection along the gum line where my body was attacking the dying root, which explains all the swelling and pressure along my right cheek/face that I thought was sinus pressure with the extreme climate change (70s one day to 40s just a few days later). Next Thursday afternoon comes the extraction and implant consultation with the oral surgeon who removed my wisdom teeth earlier this year.
As I understand the process, I will wear the flipper in my mouth to camoflauge the gap that will be created when Dr. Wallace removes my tooth. I cannot eat or sleep with the partial flipper contraption in my mouth though, so insert self conscious behavior here...and here....and there....and pretty much anywhere in public if food is involved. Suddenly, I am so glad I am single and sleep alone! LOL The flipper will be my "friend" while the bone grows. This could occur quickly or slowly. Nothing can happen until the bone is in place along the gum line and strong enough to support an implant as confirmed by bone density testing and x-rays. (This took twelve months for someone who shares the gene pool with me, so I'm pretty much planning to become a house hermit when it comes to mealtime for the next year. Once the bone is prepared, they will screw in the implant with cap, and wait for my mouth/gum/teeth to heal and support the new house-guest. If there are no complications and once healing has been completed, they will apply a crown to the implant and make it a permanent addition to my family of teeth...except that by permanent the oral surgeon means 10-15 years.
This adventure will cost me $4-5,000 out of pocket ($500 for the flipper that gets thrown away once the implant is secure), lots of tears, anxiety, testing of my patience, new levels of being self conscious around others, and oh so much more. Here's the life lesson - even if your blood pressure tends to be 176/112 the minute you walk through the dentist's door when it was 132/80 at your house just ten minutes prior, do not ignore basic symptoms of something being wrong with your teeth. The good news is all of my others were inspected yesterday and are in great shape - no cavities, no decay. I guess in the big picture, one out of twenty-plus teeth isn't that bad, but for me, it's a crushing blow.
This is a sneaky way to lose weight though. No eating out for at least a year or in extremely rare instances. Eating lots of applesauce. Continue this newfound regimen of sufficient water intake daily. Sodas rot your teeth and kill your internal organs just like my Mama Jo said they would when she said that she was not going to donate one of her kidneys to me and that I'd better budget for dentures in my "old age." Apparently, the money I'm saving on sodas is going to spent on fixing the situation with this one little eyetooth.
Hurry up and wait indeed!
Alissa
First, the education situation. I did appeal the grade to the department chair. She supported my appeal but Professor X was unwilling to acknowledge his grading of the APA mistake(s--since he claims them as multiple and I dispute them as one mistake multiple times) or compromise on the overall evaluation of the paper. Since the department chair does not have authority to change another professor's grades, that option was exhausted. The final step was to appeal to the Executive Committee of the Faculty Senate, who would form a committee to investigate and issue a final ruling/grade. I decided I owed it to myself for the hard work it took to earn the "B" and submit the paper that was not deserving a basically failing grade (D-) which reduced by "B" to a "C-" for the course. Therefore, I filed the appeal for the final step in the process. They are deliberating now and will issue their written decision by this Friday (last day of classes). I am cautiously optimistic, but will certainly comment on the final outcome since my future education and career are at stake.
Now, for the other matter that is definitely going to be "hurry up...and wait." I have been having problems with my right eyetooth (tooth 7 for you dental geeks) for at least a year. Problems would be defined as an ache that would come and go and a visible black fleck at the far left corner which I knew meant decay of some type. I ignored it because I have SEVERE dental anxiety and figured as long as it wasn't loose or crumbling apart, I had time to work up the courage and address the issue. (NOTE - that is NOT smart dental hygiene!) On Thanksgiving Saturday when my family was feasting, a sliver of the right side fell off while I was sampling some shrimp cocktail and the pain has been escalating ever since.
Last week, the pain was so bad I was forcing myself to take pills. Now you KNOW that means I was in pain because everybody knows I can't swallow pills and I really hate the inconvenience of crushing them up in applesauce to "enjoy" with the Ibuprofen or Aleve. Since they weren't really touching the pain, I took more than the recommended daily doses to the point I had left sided abdominal pain and thought, "Oh great, my liver and kidneys are shutting down from years of soda drinking and a few days of overdosing on OTC painkillers." (Did I mention I have not had a soda in over two weeks? It reminded me of a new car purchase...the minute/week it is paid off, the problems begin with maintenance and repair. LOL) It further scared me to realize urine output was no longer clear but rust-colored. (I apologize if that's TMI for you--I'm an EMT and lost some sensitivity to "gross" things of that sort.)
I called the dentist and scheduled an appointment for the earliest opportunity--which required several additional days of waiting. I was seen yesterday for my consultation and things are worse than I had feared. The root of my tooth is dead and there's not much of the tooth remaining post-Thanksgiving-break-off for them to attempt a root canal with crown procedure. My options were extraction of tooth #7 and a very self-conscious smile (gap) or extraction of the eyetooth and a very time consuming process ending eventually in an implant and a picture-perfect smile. *groan* I'm self conscious enough as it is...I don't need a permanent hole in my dental alignment to complicate things.
Soooooo, I chose option two. The road to an implant is definitely going to be ripe with "hurry up...and wait" moments since so much of the pacing is dependent on my own body's ability to heal and do what is required for a successful dental implant. The process began with an impression (can we say gag reflex?!) so I can be fitted for a partial periodontic aka "flipper." The next step is an intense antibiotic that the pharmacy only had available in liquid form and tastes like metallic trash. Let's just say I'd almost prefer a jar of applesauce laced with horse pills. The antibiotic is necessary because there is so much infection along the gum line where my body was attacking the dying root, which explains all the swelling and pressure along my right cheek/face that I thought was sinus pressure with the extreme climate change (70s one day to 40s just a few days later). Next Thursday afternoon comes the extraction and implant consultation with the oral surgeon who removed my wisdom teeth earlier this year.
As I understand the process, I will wear the flipper in my mouth to camoflauge the gap that will be created when Dr. Wallace removes my tooth. I cannot eat or sleep with the partial flipper contraption in my mouth though, so insert self conscious behavior here...and here....and there....and pretty much anywhere in public if food is involved. Suddenly, I am so glad I am single and sleep alone! LOL The flipper will be my "friend" while the bone grows. This could occur quickly or slowly. Nothing can happen until the bone is in place along the gum line and strong enough to support an implant as confirmed by bone density testing and x-rays. (This took twelve months for someone who shares the gene pool with me, so I'm pretty much planning to become a house hermit when it comes to mealtime for the next year. Once the bone is prepared, they will screw in the implant with cap, and wait for my mouth/gum/teeth to heal and support the new house-guest. If there are no complications and once healing has been completed, they will apply a crown to the implant and make it a permanent addition to my family of teeth...except that by permanent the oral surgeon means 10-15 years.
This adventure will cost me $4-5,000 out of pocket ($500 for the flipper that gets thrown away once the implant is secure), lots of tears, anxiety, testing of my patience, new levels of being self conscious around others, and oh so much more. Here's the life lesson - even if your blood pressure tends to be 176/112 the minute you walk through the dentist's door when it was 132/80 at your house just ten minutes prior, do not ignore basic symptoms of something being wrong with your teeth. The good news is all of my others were inspected yesterday and are in great shape - no cavities, no decay. I guess in the big picture, one out of twenty-plus teeth isn't that bad, but for me, it's a crushing blow.
This is a sneaky way to lose weight though. No eating out for at least a year or in extremely rare instances. Eating lots of applesauce. Continue this newfound regimen of sufficient water intake daily. Sodas rot your teeth and kill your internal organs just like my Mama Jo said they would when she said that she was not going to donate one of her kidneys to me and that I'd better budget for dentures in my "old age." Apparently, the money I'm saving on sodas is going to spent on fixing the situation with this one little eyetooth.
Hurry up and wait indeed!
Alissa
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Thin Within
So there are days I look at pictures from yester-year and wonder where that skinny little miss went and if I'll ever see her again. Then I look at myself in the mirror while running on the elliptical (yes, I purposefully placed it in front of my bedroom's full length mirror for inspiration to keep going when all I want to do is stop) and think, "yep, she's in there somewhere!" I visualize the thin within!
I have been struggling with my weight since college. Apparently, the pressure of being around brilliant, wealthy, and beautiful people caused me to doubt myself and my ability to "fit in" at a perfectly average size. I stopped eating but when people started to think that was "odd" I would eat and then race to the bathroom to purge (aka vomit with sheer willpower alone, no finger down the throat necessary). Needless to say, friends tried to intervene and so I started eating again with fewer vomiting episodes. My nutritionist said I wasn't eating enough and my body thought it was starving which is why the weight increased instead of decreased during this time. My doctor said that my metabolism was set back decades and would take "awhile" to restore to normal...I'm pretty much still waiting for that return mind you. I have put off testing to see if there are thryoid issues now at play, but maybe I'll get that bloodwork done over the holiday break.
I've been making progress with my portion control, workouts, and increased water intake. In fact, it's been an entire week of no sodas whatsoever!!! Better yet--no migraines! All I have had this week is water (6-8 bottles every day), one gatorade over the course of two days, and a couple glasses of sweet tea last night at dinner. I couldn't eat due to pain from an eyetooth issue, and since my blood glucose was in the 40s I splurged on the liquid sugar intake. The scale is showing movement and I'm feeling healthier too.
I'm picturing the thin within and very much appreciate the advice and encouragement I've received thus far from my family and friends. I'm following the plan which has its consequences and rewards and hope your involvement will continue to provide the accountability I need to succeed.
Love and prayers,
Alissa
I have been struggling with my weight since college. Apparently, the pressure of being around brilliant, wealthy, and beautiful people caused me to doubt myself and my ability to "fit in" at a perfectly average size. I stopped eating but when people started to think that was "odd" I would eat and then race to the bathroom to purge (aka vomit with sheer willpower alone, no finger down the throat necessary). Needless to say, friends tried to intervene and so I started eating again with fewer vomiting episodes. My nutritionist said I wasn't eating enough and my body thought it was starving which is why the weight increased instead of decreased during this time. My doctor said that my metabolism was set back decades and would take "awhile" to restore to normal...I'm pretty much still waiting for that return mind you. I have put off testing to see if there are thryoid issues now at play, but maybe I'll get that bloodwork done over the holiday break.
I've been making progress with my portion control, workouts, and increased water intake. In fact, it's been an entire week of no sodas whatsoever!!! Better yet--no migraines! All I have had this week is water (6-8 bottles every day), one gatorade over the course of two days, and a couple glasses of sweet tea last night at dinner. I couldn't eat due to pain from an eyetooth issue, and since my blood glucose was in the 40s I splurged on the liquid sugar intake. The scale is showing movement and I'm feeling healthier too.
I'm picturing the thin within and very much appreciate the advice and encouragement I've received thus far from my family and friends. I'm following the plan which has its consequences and rewards and hope your involvement will continue to provide the accountability I need to succeed.
Love and prayers,
Alissa
Monday, November 22, 2010
Failing to Plan is Planning to Fail - and we all know I can't stand failure!!!
So part of my quest for freedom is physical--shed the unwanted pounds, improve my physical health and fitness overall, and succumb to slight vanity if my body cooperates with my mind. :)
As much as I plan though, I never really took the time to document what it is I want and how I plan to get there. Here's the rough outline (below) and more details will be hashed out based on who signs on to be my accountability partners. If I know you're expecting updates, I'll be more likely to follow through so I won't let you down (even though it's really myself that I'm failing if I don't do what I need to do). I welcome friendly suggestions on the plan and this part of my journey to freedom.
GOALS:
1. Lose 100 pounds by December 2012
2. Increase physical activity to improve overall health/fitness (walk/run another 5K in spring 2011, run a 5K in fall 2011, run/walk a 10K in spring 2012, run a 10K in fall 2012)
3. Drink sufficient amounts of water on a daily basis (8 bottles, starting with 2--this is gonna be a struggle)
4. Decrease quantity and eventually quit drinking soft drinks (subject to migraine control)
WEEKLY:
Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays (or 3 days working around other scheduled obligations if necessary)--1 hour of running/walking on elliptical or Main Street
Tuesdays & Saturdays (or 2 days each week)--1 hour of Zumba
Thursdays & Sundays--30 minutes of physical activity
DAILY:
Drink enough water (start with 2 bottles each day and increase by 1 bottle daily each month)
Continue monitoring portion sizes at all meals/snacks
Prepare for healthy snacks in mid-afternoon, late evening
Limit dining out at a Mexican restaurant to once per week and make smart choices
Go to bed at a reasonable hour so sleep might actually result (11 p.m.=target time, since 2 a.m. is current reality)
MONTHLY:
Measurements and Weight Check on 1st and 16th of each month
Implement consequences and rewards accordingly
CONSEQUENCES:
No Facebook or internet if physical activity standards are not met (whole evening for each day I didn't exercise)
No TV if I made poor food choices (30 minutes lost for every infraction)
No Mexican food if water intake is not increased gradually over time
REWARDS:
$1 for every workout (which will pay for/justify a pedicure every month)
Shopping spree (clothes, shoes, and/or accessories) for every 25 pounds lost
Again, your input will be appreciated. Your willingness to help me measure up (or down, in this instance) will also be appreciated.
Love and prayers,
Alissa
As much as I plan though, I never really took the time to document what it is I want and how I plan to get there. Here's the rough outline (below) and more details will be hashed out based on who signs on to be my accountability partners. If I know you're expecting updates, I'll be more likely to follow through so I won't let you down (even though it's really myself that I'm failing if I don't do what I need to do). I welcome friendly suggestions on the plan and this part of my journey to freedom.
GOALS:
1. Lose 100 pounds by December 2012
2. Increase physical activity to improve overall health/fitness (walk/run another 5K in spring 2011, run a 5K in fall 2011, run/walk a 10K in spring 2012, run a 10K in fall 2012)
3. Drink sufficient amounts of water on a daily basis (8 bottles, starting with 2--this is gonna be a struggle)
4. Decrease quantity and eventually quit drinking soft drinks (subject to migraine control)
WEEKLY:
Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays (or 3 days working around other scheduled obligations if necessary)--1 hour of running/walking on elliptical or Main Street
Tuesdays & Saturdays (or 2 days each week)--1 hour of Zumba
Thursdays & Sundays--30 minutes of physical activity
DAILY:
Drink enough water (start with 2 bottles each day and increase by 1 bottle daily each month)
Continue monitoring portion sizes at all meals/snacks
Prepare for healthy snacks in mid-afternoon, late evening
Limit dining out at a Mexican restaurant to once per week and make smart choices
Go to bed at a reasonable hour so sleep might actually result (11 p.m.=target time, since 2 a.m. is current reality)
MONTHLY:
Measurements and Weight Check on 1st and 16th of each month
Implement consequences and rewards accordingly
CONSEQUENCES:
No Facebook or internet if physical activity standards are not met (whole evening for each day I didn't exercise)
No TV if I made poor food choices (30 minutes lost for every infraction)
No Mexican food if water intake is not increased gradually over time
REWARDS:
$1 for every workout (which will pay for/justify a pedicure every month)
Shopping spree (clothes, shoes, and/or accessories) for every 25 pounds lost
Again, your input will be appreciated. Your willingness to help me measure up (or down, in this instance) will also be appreciated.
Love and prayers,
Alissa
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Setting Standards or Restricting Reality?!
First of all, let me say this BLOG, BLOG, BLOG. Apparently, the last post wasn't nearly as dramatic as some of mine have been so my mother and youngest sister said it read more like "blah, blah, blah" except since it's a blog, they were being funny and saying "blog, blog, blog." Don't worry -- I'm not offended. It's good that not all of my posts are gut wrenching, tear-inducing, laughter-crazed musings. Variety is the spice of life and keeps things interesting (and hopefully, friends and family reading the latest situations and thoughts about my life).
Now then....back to reality! :)
I'm pretty sure we all know about setting standards. There are standards of learning in classrooms all across America, standards for health and occupational safety, standards for professionals in every field, etc., etc. We may not always know who is setting the standards, but we are usually pretty informed about what they are and how we should measure up to be successful in meeting those identified standards. I'm well aware that individuals set personal standards as well--live a certain way, act appropriately in accordance with pre-determined ideals, interact with others based on established criteria.
I have standards for myself, but have never really laid out standards for others that I may encounter in personal relationships. My mom was asking me at dinner tonight if I had ever made a list of what I'd want in a guy that I was dating....and the answer was no, not really. I mean, I have a sense of what kind of guys I like, but that's about it. So she then asked me to think of some characteristics that would be "deal breakers" in moving forward, using the knowledge from my past relationships to set (higher) standards. Of course, then Devinne said this was definitely going to become fodder for blog posts and I laughed and said "but of course."
After some interesting input from the two of them and some brainstorming by myself with explanations, I was able to develop a list of core standards for any future guy to be considered as a possible "Mr. Right." My intent is to know what I don't want so that I can avoid the pitfalls of familiar traps in ignoring deal breakers until too much time has elapsed and I'm already emotionally vested in the relationship. That being said, I'm going to document this list and keep it in my Bible for prayer. Yes, I'm that kind of girl who prays for my future husband who is at present, uncertain and perhaps even unknown. I don't want to restrict reality or put God in a box by saying the guy must meet all checklist requirements for romantic consideration. At the same time, there are standards that will help keep me from twisting reality to maintain the romance.
Lots of details can be included in each of the overarching ideas (standards) for Mister Right, but here are the basics:
1. Christian - must share my faith in God as the ruler of heaven and earth, worship Him in spirit and in truth, acknowledge Jesus Christ as personal Lord and Savior, and be capable of serving as spiritual head of the household (yes, you can be the boss of me if God is the boss of you!)
2. Sense of Humor - must be capable of laughing at self and others in the situations that need such humorous doses of medicine for the soul, appreciate corny jokes and a laugh that almost always includes snorting (mine), entertain with a smile that melts my heart, sees the bright side of life even in the stormy trials and tribulations
3. Common Heritage - must be caucasian, able to appreciate or share European ethnicity from generations past, enjoy traditions that are comparable to my own, fellowship over international cuisine, and have more in common than not when it comes to race, ethnicity, customs, etc.
4. Work Ethic - must possess a strong work ethic, be willing to invest the time and energy necessary to accomplish the tasks required, make ends meet or not expect to sponge off of my finances, pull their own weight in household responsibilities (financial stability, practical chores), never show signs of apathy or laziness (different from enjoying a reprieve or vacation), have a sense of personal fulfillment from whatever professional endeavors are his chosen passion (enjoy going to work)
5. Family focused - must be respectful of me (demonstrated by his respect of other women in his life), embrace the idea of marriage and those vary sacred wedding vows, have or want children, appreciate the "fur babies" in my life and welcome pets (dogs definitely, cats optional, horses negotiable) as an extended part of the family, enjoy spending time with the family (immediate and extended), never belittle or demean me as the female in the family unit (which actually goes back to the respect thing)
Sooooooo, there you have it. The 5 non-negotiable standards I have set for the Mister Right who is even now being prepared by God just for me. I'm pretty sure each of these standards aligns with God's intentions for Christian marriage--husbands, fathers, partners in this thing called human life. Hopefully, I haven't restricted His reality for my future in creating a list of ideals. I won't be posting a classified ad based on these (and neither should Brianna who did sign me up for E-Harmony four or five years ago), but I will pray about them and keep them in mind when guys come my way, looking to make a romantic connection.
Love and prayers,
Alissa
Now then....back to reality! :)
I'm pretty sure we all know about setting standards. There are standards of learning in classrooms all across America, standards for health and occupational safety, standards for professionals in every field, etc., etc. We may not always know who is setting the standards, but we are usually pretty informed about what they are and how we should measure up to be successful in meeting those identified standards. I'm well aware that individuals set personal standards as well--live a certain way, act appropriately in accordance with pre-determined ideals, interact with others based on established criteria.
I have standards for myself, but have never really laid out standards for others that I may encounter in personal relationships. My mom was asking me at dinner tonight if I had ever made a list of what I'd want in a guy that I was dating....and the answer was no, not really. I mean, I have a sense of what kind of guys I like, but that's about it. So she then asked me to think of some characteristics that would be "deal breakers" in moving forward, using the knowledge from my past relationships to set (higher) standards. Of course, then Devinne said this was definitely going to become fodder for blog posts and I laughed and said "but of course."
After some interesting input from the two of them and some brainstorming by myself with explanations, I was able to develop a list of core standards for any future guy to be considered as a possible "Mr. Right." My intent is to know what I don't want so that I can avoid the pitfalls of familiar traps in ignoring deal breakers until too much time has elapsed and I'm already emotionally vested in the relationship. That being said, I'm going to document this list and keep it in my Bible for prayer. Yes, I'm that kind of girl who prays for my future husband who is at present, uncertain and perhaps even unknown. I don't want to restrict reality or put God in a box by saying the guy must meet all checklist requirements for romantic consideration. At the same time, there are standards that will help keep me from twisting reality to maintain the romance.
Lots of details can be included in each of the overarching ideas (standards) for Mister Right, but here are the basics:
1. Christian - must share my faith in God as the ruler of heaven and earth, worship Him in spirit and in truth, acknowledge Jesus Christ as personal Lord and Savior, and be capable of serving as spiritual head of the household (yes, you can be the boss of me if God is the boss of you!)
2. Sense of Humor - must be capable of laughing at self and others in the situations that need such humorous doses of medicine for the soul, appreciate corny jokes and a laugh that almost always includes snorting (mine), entertain with a smile that melts my heart, sees the bright side of life even in the stormy trials and tribulations
3. Common Heritage - must be caucasian, able to appreciate or share European ethnicity from generations past, enjoy traditions that are comparable to my own, fellowship over international cuisine, and have more in common than not when it comes to race, ethnicity, customs, etc.
4. Work Ethic - must possess a strong work ethic, be willing to invest the time and energy necessary to accomplish the tasks required, make ends meet or not expect to sponge off of my finances, pull their own weight in household responsibilities (financial stability, practical chores), never show signs of apathy or laziness (different from enjoying a reprieve or vacation), have a sense of personal fulfillment from whatever professional endeavors are his chosen passion (enjoy going to work)
5. Family focused - must be respectful of me (demonstrated by his respect of other women in his life), embrace the idea of marriage and those vary sacred wedding vows, have or want children, appreciate the "fur babies" in my life and welcome pets (dogs definitely, cats optional, horses negotiable) as an extended part of the family, enjoy spending time with the family (immediate and extended), never belittle or demean me as the female in the family unit (which actually goes back to the respect thing)
Sooooooo, there you have it. The 5 non-negotiable standards I have set for the Mister Right who is even now being prepared by God just for me. I'm pretty sure each of these standards aligns with God's intentions for Christian marriage--husbands, fathers, partners in this thing called human life. Hopefully, I haven't restricted His reality for my future in creating a list of ideals. I won't be posting a classified ad based on these (and neither should Brianna who did sign me up for E-Harmony four or five years ago), but I will pray about them and keep them in mind when guys come my way, looking to make a romantic connection.
Love and prayers,
Alissa
Friday, November 19, 2010
Shoot for the Moon or Reach for the Stars
Do you ever wonder if you're on track in the life you're living? Is this what you're supposed to like, where you're supposed to be living, what you're supposed to be doing, when you're supposed to "dream big" or "be realistic," why your reality is the way it is, and how you're supposed to make changes? I'm sure it's natural to question (notice I covered WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY and HOW because I'm "good like that"...LOL) without the questions being a crisis in faith necessarily.
When I was teaching high school history (which sometimes feels like forever ago, and other times feels like just yesterday), one of the motivational posters I had displayed in my classroom said, "Shoot for the moon...even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." I was just outside with my fur babies (aka Logan and Lexie, the dogs that have adopted me) and noticed the chill in the air, the smell of burning leaves (which is intoxicating among other favorite scents) and the stars with crescent moon in the night sky. The thought occurred to me that I don't really remember or understand all the science about the moon or stars, but I can appreciate them for being there just the same. It's like a glimmer of light providing a glimmer of hope that there really is a universe beyond my comprehension with a God that rules and understands it all.
Then I started the mental playback of some recent conversations I had. Each of the individuals was encouraging me to "reach for the stars" or "shoot for the moon" and not to sell myself short with who I can be, where I can go, what I can do, why I generally thrive even in less than ideal circumstances, how I can succeed with future plans, and when the "master plan" will come to pass. Of course, I'm also thinking about the MASTER's plan too. How do you know when it's right and when you're just out of God's will? Does putting yourself out there with your plans mean you're shooting for the moon, reaching for the stars or falling out of orbit?
Pretty much everybody knows my life verse is Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not harm for you, plans to bring about good for your future." That doesn't mean I don't plan because, well, quite frankly, I'm good at planning. I've planned my education and career, as well as planned corporate and family/friend events, parties, weddings (even my own--which may have been a waste of time, but it was fun to think about details anyways), etc. I'm not where I thought I would be at age 32 (yes, I admitted it, so I hope you were sitting down when you read this blog entry Brianna and Mama Jo) when I was planning my future back in the days of high school and college. I'm not who I thought I would be either...in some instances, I'm a better person and in others I'm far removed from the woman I want(ed) to be. Life is not how I imagined it...it's more real than ideal. How the romanticized optimism has remained over the years is questionable/laughable.
The biggest question is WHY DO I WANT WHAT I DON'T HAVE instead of living more in the moment?!?! I am alive. I have a family that loves me, even if they don't understand me. I have friends who brighten my world with who they are and how they support and challenge me. I have two dogs who think I'm awesome enough that they haven't run away even when they escaped the house before I had the leashes connected to their collars. I have a roommate who is responsible enough to be on time with his share of the rent and utilities. I have an amazing career where I can make a difference, grow as a professional and person, interact with stellar educational leaders and work alongside very talented faculty/staff. I have a rewarding opportunity to serve my community thanks to my commitment to Victoria Fire & Rescue as a volunteer EMT-E. I have a family of faith that extends beyond brick and mortar of one particular church building and am blessed to worship and study God's Word at NCF or VUMC. I survived bulimia, two abusive relationships, and addiction to alcohol. I am stronger, braver, brighter, funnier, prettier, etc. than I give myself credit for ever. Why do I focus on the one thing missing in this picture of my "perfect world"? I have plenty of love in all of the above. I need to accept what is with more of God's grace and trust in His plans and timing for that special someone and the higher education goals too. I need to stay grounded in (and grateful for) reality, but shoot for the moon so I can land among the stars. The future really is as bright as the promises of God!!
Love and prayers,
Alissa
When I was teaching high school history (which sometimes feels like forever ago, and other times feels like just yesterday), one of the motivational posters I had displayed in my classroom said, "Shoot for the moon...even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." I was just outside with my fur babies (aka Logan and Lexie, the dogs that have adopted me) and noticed the chill in the air, the smell of burning leaves (which is intoxicating among other favorite scents) and the stars with crescent moon in the night sky. The thought occurred to me that I don't really remember or understand all the science about the moon or stars, but I can appreciate them for being there just the same. It's like a glimmer of light providing a glimmer of hope that there really is a universe beyond my comprehension with a God that rules and understands it all.
Then I started the mental playback of some recent conversations I had. Each of the individuals was encouraging me to "reach for the stars" or "shoot for the moon" and not to sell myself short with who I can be, where I can go, what I can do, why I generally thrive even in less than ideal circumstances, how I can succeed with future plans, and when the "master plan" will come to pass. Of course, I'm also thinking about the MASTER's plan too. How do you know when it's right and when you're just out of God's will? Does putting yourself out there with your plans mean you're shooting for the moon, reaching for the stars or falling out of orbit?
Pretty much everybody knows my life verse is Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not harm for you, plans to bring about good for your future." That doesn't mean I don't plan because, well, quite frankly, I'm good at planning. I've planned my education and career, as well as planned corporate and family/friend events, parties, weddings (even my own--which may have been a waste of time, but it was fun to think about details anyways), etc. I'm not where I thought I would be at age 32 (yes, I admitted it, so I hope you were sitting down when you read this blog entry Brianna and Mama Jo) when I was planning my future back in the days of high school and college. I'm not who I thought I would be either...in some instances, I'm a better person and in others I'm far removed from the woman I want(ed) to be. Life is not how I imagined it...it's more real than ideal. How the romanticized optimism has remained over the years is questionable/laughable.
The biggest question is WHY DO I WANT WHAT I DON'T HAVE instead of living more in the moment?!?! I am alive. I have a family that loves me, even if they don't understand me. I have friends who brighten my world with who they are and how they support and challenge me. I have two dogs who think I'm awesome enough that they haven't run away even when they escaped the house before I had the leashes connected to their collars. I have a roommate who is responsible enough to be on time with his share of the rent and utilities. I have an amazing career where I can make a difference, grow as a professional and person, interact with stellar educational leaders and work alongside very talented faculty/staff. I have a rewarding opportunity to serve my community thanks to my commitment to Victoria Fire & Rescue as a volunteer EMT-E. I have a family of faith that extends beyond brick and mortar of one particular church building and am blessed to worship and study God's Word at NCF or VUMC. I survived bulimia, two abusive relationships, and addiction to alcohol. I am stronger, braver, brighter, funnier, prettier, etc. than I give myself credit for ever. Why do I focus on the one thing missing in this picture of my "perfect world"? I have plenty of love in all of the above. I need to accept what is with more of God's grace and trust in His plans and timing for that special someone and the higher education goals too. I need to stay grounded in (and grateful for) reality, but shoot for the moon so I can land among the stars. The future really is as bright as the promises of God!!
Love and prayers,
Alissa
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