Saturday, July 23, 2011

Dear Future Husband

I wonder if I know you or have yet to meet you. I think about you often. I don't know much about you, but I know you must be pretty special for God to match you with me someday. I know that you will show me respect and compassion, model God's grace in spite of our sin condition as humans, and love me for me (and sometimes...in spite of me)! When I think of you, I wonder what you're doing. How you spend your time says alot about who you are as a person, what you believe, and how you live your faith. I sure hope your smile can keep up with mine. In fact, I pray your very presence can bring a smile to my lips even on the darkest most difficult of days.

I know we won't have a perfect relationship, because Lord knows I'm flawed, and I expect you'll have some flaws too. I promise to be faithful and true to you though and expect the same commitment from you. I'll try to be the Proverbs 31 woman God wants me to be and help you whenever possible. I look forward to our times together - the laughter (even my snorting with extreme laughter, which I sure hope you find adorable and not annoying), the planned encounters, the spontaneous times, the moments when we are just together with no planned agenda and have the best conversation without saying a single word. I hope God minimizes our "rough patches" as we seek His face and will for our individual lives and marriage.

I don't know if you're near or far away, but I know that I'm praying for you just the same. I keep myself busy to avoid the pain of missing you, which probably sounds crazy since I may not actually know you. I'd like to think the time being single has not just been about staying busy and avoiding loneliness though. I've learned lots about myself, developed new friendships, embraced new challenges and opportunities to grow and serve others, and more. I cling to my life verse in Jeremiah 29:11-13, because I know God is in charge of my future and those plans will bring us together and be more amazing than I could have planned. Once you know me, you'll realize that says a lot since I am constantly planning. It brings me joy and satisfaction to plan and then accomplish something. Hopefully the planning will bring you joy and minimize stress in your life someday too.

I can't wait, but those are also the times God reminds me it's all in His timing. I try not to doubt or fret about the future, but it's still a weakness. My past failings have also taught me about the need to trust God's timing and not my own. I warn you there are some pretty high (and secure) walls built up around my heart, but know God and you will make a fine team to remove them one layer at a time. I will have complete trust in you and expect that we can share our deepest secrets, the longings of our heart, and move forward together in love and faith.

Your beloved,
Alissa

2 comments: